1/14/11 Appoint with B Cat, NM

Today I pushed myself. A lot. It didn't work for me. It was a bad deed to myself. I wish that I had been completely healed. In just a second that all the health issues that I've had over the years vanished. I wanted to throw away my cane. That didn't quite happen. So . . . hum.

I know that my immune system has come back. It started when Luke and I were watching Braco's videos and on line clips. That's how I was able to get up at 2:45 with about an hour's sleep and get to hawaii. I did get sick . . . . but after a day of Braco making the gazings I woke up early and in great health and spirits and the rest of our stay was pure magic. Come on Ashley. Last year Dr L was worried and didn't know what to do to help you. Now you're feeling alive again. So stop being a baby. And stop wanting what you didn't get . . . yet.

My good deed for myself and my family is to take what I was given with love and respect and joy and move into my future thankfully.

And yes. I'm 50 % healed of my injuries. The left side of my body is pain free for the first time in 10 years. But 50 % is not 100 %. I want to whole thing. So today, I'm not grateful for my 50%. I know I should be and hopefully I will be tomorrow.